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About Me Member Procrastinator AJ4106Female/United States Group group avatar #WorldCarnival
 
Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
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105 Comments
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ignore this worthless post

Tue Jan 26, 2010, 5:52 PM
  • Mood: Psychotic
  • Listening to: Monster by Skillet
Yesterday I was not at my best...


For a while I had thought it would be a boring, average day. But suddenly something in me kinda snapped. I got the shivers, I was paranoid, my skin itched like there were insects under my skin, I couldn't breathe without rasping and panting, and I violently wretched until I tore my throat so blood seeped out my mouth.
I began to hallucinate and scratched furiously at my arms until I created gashes in them. I can't remember what I did after I left my desk but I apparently fell asleep with my eyes wide open and when I was awoken I nearly hit my own mother. They forced me to down a handful of Ibuprofen so that I would sleep but even then I wouldn't fall until late into the night. All I can remember of the night was dreams of torture and rape.
My arms are red, raw, and scabbed. My head hurts and screams. Worst of all, I feel as though all the progress I had made in the past few months consisting of emotional and mental problems, are gone. I am depressed, I want to die, and the urge to stab my worthless being is so overpowering...

I'm not telling my parents what I went through and I shouldn't be telling you. I'm crowding your inbox with my worthless bitching and unimportant life. Do not worry over me, you are wasting your energy.




why am i writing this...

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  • Current Residence: North America

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Comments


:iconesabelle-ryngin:
Sorry, was this a race?
Uh... It's Esa, if that wasn't obvious.

--
"My expression has a first name: It's W-T-F"
--Esabelle Ryngin
:iconyazu-x-kiba:
did i beat esa too?? :o
Tis Lack Of space here~

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Thankyou Charvy for this adorable Icon~
:iconaj4106:
haha! hi! can't be on today but thanks for commenting!! love your art by the way.
:iconyazu-x-kiba:
aww, okaayy....
Ill comment on you all...night...long...
Thanks <3

--
Thankyou Charvy for this adorable Icon~
:iconcharvatres:
By the way, give us your MSN if you're not afraid of us stalking you.

Or you could wait to give it to us. We're a bit gung-ho.

:iconwhutplz:

--
Trust me, I'm one clever cat.
:iconcharvatres:
Francie here, I got here before Esa.

:iconimhappiestplz:

Hey hey, you're the first technical person to actually want to join this Hetalia thing. Congraaaaaaaatssorrywe'reprettylame.

--
Trust me, I'm one clever cat.
:iconaj4106:
chhhhhhh. I'M the lame one *people-phobic* this a MAJOR step out of the dark for me. But it sounds like fun so ya 8D thank you!
:iconcharvatres:
We're glad to be able to have you on the team. :)

You'll be getting an invite on MSN from Esa and I~ (I'm "kuporouge" btw).

Now, is your MSN @hotmail.com or something else?

--
Trust me, I'm one clever cat.
:iconaj4106:
ha, thanks. cool. it's @gmail . I haven't used that thing in ages so I can't search at all @_@
:iconaselleus:
[link]

--
"The Last of the Starmakers"

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